Are you in Survival mode?

It's insidious. You think you're doing well. You don't think the "fight or flight mode" applies to you. But you seem to be going in circles in a holding pattern.

Each month, each year feels pretty much the same as the last. Can't get the promotion you want. Can't seem to launch the business you've been planning for months. Can't move your relationship forward. It seems there's only so much you can do to keep your head above the water.

You're in survival mode.

Living organisms redirect their energies away from growth when they're in survival mode. You've seen this in children whose growth are stunted. Plants that do not bloom and bear fruit when there's a drought. Amphibians who stop metabolic systems to hibernate.

The same is with your mind. When your subconscious feels that you are threatened (whether real or imaginary, revisiting the painful past or worrying about the future), it does all it can to keep you from being creative, from seeing possibilities, from taking risks... And you end up "fighting" yourself and using precious energy. You end up doing all you can just to "keep your head above the water".

So it's very important to be aware of when you are going into survival mode. You will notice it in the tightening of your body, the shallow breathing, the inability to look ahead. Sometimes it's as obvious like being triggered. Sometimes it's as subtle as not looking forward to the next day.​

Your feelings are the key, not your actions. Don't force yourself to act without motivation. Find a way to change how you feel. It could be as simple as taking a break and walking in nature. Or treating yourself to a nice meal. Or spending time with friends you haven't seen in a while... Anything to take you out of the cycle you're in.

Once you're temporarily out, you will have the clarity ask yourself "What do I really want? Is there anything I can change to get there?"

Trust in your ability and strength to find the way out.

This is what happened to me in May 2023. We went on a 2 week vacation to Paris and Prague. And even though I was sick for the first 3 days, I finally relaxed enough to try experiences that I was excited about. It was then that I realized that the life I was going back to in Toronto was no longer for me.

That was the time we made the decision to move to France. I didn't know how it will happen. We had mortgages to pay. We had no savings to rely on. I was the only breadwinner in the family. Just the thought of our finances would send me in a panic.

But the decision made me open to the possibility. And in the months following, as if I started a "Google search" with my mind, I started seeing steps and actions that we could take.

We flew to France at the end of May 2024. Exactly a year after we made that decision, we sold our house, we invested the proceeds, I quit my job, we moved to a place we love.

I still go into survival mode from time to time. Like when we were running late for our flight because of a taxi strike. Or when we lost power and internet in our apartment in the mountains.

But I recognize it now so I can tell myself that "Things will work out great." or that "I can deal with whatever comes next."... Then the situation gets relegated from a crisis to a challenge.

It is important to find a technique to get out of survival mode that works for you. Don't wait until you feel trapped and unable to see a way out.

Till next time,

😉 Michelle

Create a life you love!